The 50-50 Closet

Couple things to catch you up. Last post was September 2011. Since then, I moved twice, we got our pup back (stupid no pet rentals), graduated with my Master's, started working fulltime (and overtime), and bought a house. The house needs some work and it's entertaining to say the least. And my dog is entertaining. He's a basset hound and his name is Shmue. Which rhymes with "blue." It's a silly way to spell the name Shmoo. Justin says he spelled his name "the French way." I told him the French way would be Shmoux.

I'm debating starting this blog again so that I don't forget how to write. I drown in data and figures everyday, I forget the power of words. I feel more disconnected from them now that my thesis is done. So I may do this casually but not tell anyone and see what happens.

Story time. We have an awkward closet in the hallway that is small and has a weird large concrete step in the middle of it. Why the step? What's it hiding? Is it the foundation? Is is to make the closet shorter? If I busted it open would I find a pair of feet in there? A beloved pet? What does it want from us!?

Anyway. We call it Shmue's 50-50 closet. Because the only things in the closet are the vacuum and his leash. What's gonna happen when we open the door, Shmue? Happy tail-wag ermahgerd smells and walk time? Or death machine of noisy horrible rolly-ness?!

Roll of the dice, Pups. Roll of the dice...

I can say with confidence that this will be one of the hardest times of my life.
I should relish it and remember that I will look back on it fondly.
Sleep.
Drive.
Work.
Drive.
School.
Drive.
Cook.
Homework.
Sleep...
I will remember this when I am working overtime and missing my husband.
I will remember this when I am rocking a baby in the middle of the night,
tears rolling down my face from exhaustion.
I will remember this when I am driving to baseball, rehearsal, track meets,
sipping on my 3rd coffee of the day.
That if I can survive this newlywed/new job/grad school/living off of financial aid and unemployment thing,
I can survive anything.

Him: These people on tv are going on a trip to get over the loss of their dog!?
Me: Are you telling me you aren't going to be traumatized when Shmue dies?
Him: Don't even say that! Shmue's not a dog he's a person and he's my basset hound buddy.

Working on Justin's Resume

Me: "... from August 2005 to July 2006. Wow. That seems like so long ago. In August 2005, I was getting ready to move out into the dorms and I had just done my NASA seminar."
Him: "I was working at a sports card store getting fat off mall churros."

A cellular conversation

Talking to Justin on the phone...

Me: So what are you doing?
Him: Playing video games in my comfy chair.
Me: Ok well would you mind emptying the recycling upstairs- it's just about overflowing.
Him: What- you're breaking up?
Me: I am not! I'm in the middle of a parking lot!
Him: Babe...! I can't hear you...! I'm going through a tunnel..!
Me: *sigh*

Where my heart goes to find calm...

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

You may have noticed a new theme. Optimism. Joy juice. Love. Hope. Calm. Call it what you will, I have it. I have started taking steps back and taken a critical look at who I am now and who I was then. 

Then, when I was alone. 

Then, when I was me but darker.

Or tougher.
Or something.

I saw it first looking through my old chemistry notes, of all places. I saw my hand writing, how it looked like my dads. How it sprawled in a focused, angular way.

Now it is softer.

And loopier.

Like me!

I have learned many things this quarter so far. And not just how to project an aerial image into WGS 1984 projection. Or how to calculate the ionic strength and activity of magnesium (I still don't really know how to do that- but don't tell the guy in the white lab coat).

I have learned that when

you approach the day with a positive attitude..

it goes by faster.

you get more done.

you make people laugh, and they make you and there is generally more smiles in your life.

When your kitchen is clean and your house is vacuumed...

your home is homier.

your husband is happier.

you don't have a "I should get this done" black, heavy cloud hanging over your couch-sitting time.

When you don't worry about what will happen..

you are pleasantly surprised when something works out exactly like you wanted,

and have faith that something else will happen to help you decide what to do.